I think I’ve made a decision. I think I’ve come to the end.
Living in the hospital was easier than this.
This is how an angel dies
I tested myself tonight and I failed. Theres so many conflicting emotions in my head right now, I don’t know what to listen to, what to follow, what to do. Why does night time make this so much worse? I guess it’s because I’m more alone (which I didn’t think was possible). Nothing but me and my head filled with nonsense and words unsaid. Things I want to scream and things I want to whisper. Things...
So much for escaping in my dreams. I can’t even go there.
Another sleepless night
What’s wrong with me that I look forward to sleeping because its a chance to escape my reality? Yet when I get into bed my eyes won’t close.
My eternal sunshine
I now know too much. I just want to press the reset button. Wiping my mind would make this so much easier. It would get rid of this awful feeling in my stomach, this headache, these tears, these thoughts. I don’t know what to do. Good memories are like a double edged sword. They’re good to have but if you linger on them too long you’ll be hurt even more. Life was so much easier...
White legs to the touch.
These late-night hours bring thoughts of mine That toss and turn inside my mind Never resting will I be Until the light of day I see These late-night thoughts of times more simple Lips pressed against a loving dimple Bodies tangled; hearts a race Kisses on a sun bleached face A hand holds now a face more weary Late at night of thoughts more dreary to be continued (finished...
Ready, Set, Stop.
I wish I could finish with flying colors With my head held high With my chest puffed out But I’m out of the gate And my head’s hanging low My stomach’s in knots And it’s looking like I might not reach the end
Open up this box and fill it with our memories
I’m feeling so distant now I don’t know why it feels so different Like there’s a foggy window in the way Like I can’t quite reach Even if you were right in front of me I don’t think I could catch you It’s like every step is a step farther away I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same If I’ll ever be able to reach you, grab you, hold you,...
Smile for the camera cause these pictures are...
I haven’t blogged in a while, but now is a time when I need to write the most. So many things are going on in my head, so many emotions that I’m feeling right now. With a big change comes big emotions. So the pain and sadness I’m feeling are not surprising but I guess I didn’t really understand how deep they would be. Right now though, what I’m feeling is hurt and...